The Clocked Winked

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Or was that you? 

A day ago I was standing there with my five year old hand in yours.  You held tightly, I was worried I would get lost.But now I am letting you go.  You used to put a cold wet rag on my forehead when I didn't feel well.. Now I have one in my hand for your dry eyes. In a few minutes I will help you close your lids the last time.  You used to put me in the bath every night at 9.  I am cleaning you before the funeral home comes to pick you up for your last ride from the house I call home. You would wave goodbye till we turned the corner.  This time I was on the porch, waving watching you be driven in the back of the black long car.  

The clocked winked, or maybe I miss you.

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This week's Write on Wednesday was inspired by time.  It isn't too late hop on over and check it out.  There are some really nice people and we would love to hear how the winking clock inspires you. 

I love life

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I love life. 

I love waking up with purpose. 

I love having people that need me. 

 I love being surrounded by those I love.

I love fresh cut cold tomatoes on toasted bread.

I love it when people walk away from me and they are little bit better. 

I love life.

Choose wisely

Ready for a New House and a New Look

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I love looking at designer homes.  Pictures of perfect rooms to wake up in and to snuggle in with big blankets and good books.  

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I don't think I would ever crawl out of this as a kid...or now. 

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Can you imagine this in your house?  I love the twisting stair case and the giant reading tables. 

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With a backyard retreat like this no one would ever go inside.  

Then again if you made the inside like...this maybe.

Okay back to real life.  Back to book writing.

There is rumor of rain

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The meteorologist have been giddy school girls.  There is a hurricane/tropical storm coming for the Gulf Coast the rumor is there might be rain.  At this point I am not sure what that stuff is.  There may be dancing in the streets...well assuming I am not driving students.  Then it will be high blood pressure and sadness.  I hope I am home to enjoy it.  The white trash neighbors do put on a good show for occasions like that...it somehow always turns into a drunken festival of cussing topped off with a fight.  Gotta love the hills. No fear I will have the camera handy.  The drunk do like their photo taken.  

I hope it rains.  I am getting tired of looking at....

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The desert is cool.  But I don't like it in the front yard.  I am way too white to have this kind of heat.  I step near sun and you can hear the hissing of burning flesh.  Maybe we could do a weekend trip to the coast and welcome the storm to town.  Sip a Margarita, while sitting in my lawn chair and see what blows in.  Can't be any more terrifying then driving a 15 year old first timer in rain slick streets.  

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Maybe I am a bit grouchy, today was an 8 hour day.  I have worked many jobs but sitting in that car for 8 hours I will have to stretch tonight to keep the whip lash at bay.  It is worth it.  It is all apart of the plan.  Work 20+ hours a week in job two and pay off the big creditors I owe in two years.  It will suck in every kind of way but after two years...the sky will open the angels will sing, unicorns and rainbows will own the sky and the clouds will be made of cotton candy.  

Okay...maybe not.  

But I will be able to move out of the white trashville.  I will miss the drug bust, the random drive byes, the swat teams stationed outside the house and my new favorite friend (the bipolar schizophrenic neighbor across the street who likes to send random threatening text messages at night.)  But I think they will carry on without me.  

Bring on the rain. Everything looks better after a good storm. 

Grab it by the collar...show it who is boss

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This summer I have been battling back and forth on several things in my life.

Some parts of my life I am uber focused on achieving certain goals.  To the point of having sever depression if I don't reach them. Then there are other parts of my life that I wish there was someone was there to take care of me.  I know totally grown up response.  I love writing, teaching and cooking.  I like making money but awful at budgeting, saving, vacuuming, and dusting.

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It all in some ways scares me. Well the money part does...the last two kill my allergies.  And they don't scare me more like overwhelm me.  I have an irrational fear that time is running out.  And when the clock tolls debtor prison will be brought back and at some point everyone will find out and stone me for my pile of bad choices.  Damn college!  It is a real fear.  I don't check the mail.  Nothing good comes in the mail box.  For the last few months I was trying a denial as a coping method.  It doesn't work.  

Today I made a good step forward.  I faced my fear and called people I have been avoiding.  I was shocked how nice they were.  I was also surprised at how much it made my stomach hurt.  I have made a plan and in ten short years everything will be fantastic.  So now I can't wait to turn 46 and a half. Now I have to find a maid that works for practically nothing and if she was good at editing that would be even better.

What fear have you faced recently?     

Jealous wind

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I found the shade today. 

The sun fought to roast me.

Thin spindled limbs weaved together overhead. 

Below the path cleaved through the knots.

Dirt and rock it led me. 

Down a dark hill, the woven knit retreated.

The wind didn't bother to come.

She was angry.  

Jealous of the naked limbs.

A giant oak blocked

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my way out. 

Perched in the mass of knots I saw myself. 

Or was it me on the path. 

The look was the same.

My feet hurt

head pounded

and my back drenched with chilled sweat.

Looking down the knobby lot I got the sign. 

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I do love to jump in a blog hop.  This post was written for two...Poetry Potluck a great gathering of like minded folks that share weekly, and Write on Wednesday.