Thursday, January 31, 2013

Out stretched hand

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One hand out stretched the other clings tight to the present. 

Wanting to change, reaching out for more...even though it hurts.  

Pelted by the negative "what ifs..." 

I stand reaching and thinking.

Not wanting to let go, 

not wanting to stay, 

stuck in the purgatory of it all. 

How can God give you what you deserve if you cling to the pain you know?

He waits for you to let go. 

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

A Train Runs

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There is a station that crosses the hill near my house.

The trains run at midnight.  

One blow of the horn, followed by chugging engines.

It sounds like your heart.

The scrape of metal sliding to a distant shore.

Methodic. Heavy.  

I hear your love leaving my bed.

We both accept a sprinkle of days of happiness.

Fear is the moat guarding our "ever after."

We leave it.

The risk seems too much to endure.

The sounds of the train fade.

Monday, January 21, 2013

Burdens on Fire

"It is not the load that breaks you down, it is the way you carry it."  C.S. Lewis

Titled to the left, my knees crackled and popped.

The burdens at one time were sharp, heavy and dark. 

Today, they are softer. 

Or I could be more sober. 

Intoxicating innocence has been torn away. 

Temperance monitors the small child within. 

Chipped away like old paint from a weathered barn,

burdens fall, float away.  

Peeled, they lighten.

Thighs have strengthened from trial, 

can do more. 

Just like my soul.  

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

I love him

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I want to be in his arms.  

Drunk in his embrace. 

I love him.  

But the air is thinner in his sphere. 

My blood flow is divided.

His gravitational pull won't let me go. 

I don't want out. 

It is warm in there under his care. 

He knows what I need to hear. 

He is there.  

I love him.