Sunday, May 30, 2010

Maybe it wasn't sickness it was worse...

Sweats have left days ago but the wheezing hacking cough remains.  After several wall shaking days of endless hacking my friends stepped up to me in a great intervention worthy of A&E cameras and asked me go the doctor.  Their genuine care and empathy finally pulled at me enough to do it.  

The doctor, new to me, was as sweet as could be.  She questioned me about my asthma. Having never been diagnosed with asthma there was initial confusion.  Apparently my friends might have been right, a person should be able to breathe with out feeling like you are going to die.  Alright, a week into the new medication and cannot say that I feel any better. Stepping outside feels like my lungs are in a vice and the coughing kicks back up.  I want to get out, to walk and get back to the gym.  How do I do those things when I am still struggling to breathe? I watch calories and hope for the best.  Next week I will see the doctor again maybe there can be some type of adjustments and I can get back into that gym.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Reaching for More Than One Dream at a Time

Five weeks of discipline- work, workout and write all fell apart this week.  I tried to muscle in a workout even when my eyes were tearing and my nose was running.  The writing was a hopeless.  Laptop sat there empty screen before me but my mind was fogged with drugs and that blasted right eye would not stop running.  Two days in to the snafu (as I like to call getting sick) and I completely abandon the workouts and writing.  The wheezing was keeping me up, stronger drugs made the others pail in comparison to the full on fog my mind was sitting inside of.  Struggling to spell my own name much less work on any creative endeavour I resorted to sleep. 

Can barely remember those days even tho it was this last week.  I am okay, survived even when it felt like it might be touch and go there for a while.  It is okay, life needs these slow downs to recharge.  Sometimes when you are so focused on achieving your goals it is easy to get lost in that struggle.  Recharging is good for the soul.  Reminded of where I want to be; of why my health is so important I am ready to go forward.  Reservation at the gym is made for almost everyday next week.  Not to over do it, but to keep moving.  The fog has been burned away by the glorious sun and my stupid right eye has dried up, so I come to share my struggle with all of you.