Friday, July 29, 2011
at 1:34 PM
I hope it rains. I am getting tired of looking at....
The desert is cool. But I don't like it in the front yard. I am way too white to have this kind of heat. I step near sun and you can hear the hissing of burning flesh. Maybe we could do a weekend trip to the coast and welcome the storm to town. Sip a Margarita, while sitting in my lawn chair and see what blows in. Can't be any more terrifying then driving a 15 year old first timer in rain slick streets.
Maybe I am a bit grouchy, today was an 8 hour day. I have worked many jobs but sitting in that car for 8 hours I will have to stretch tonight to keep the whip lash at bay. It is worth it. It is all apart of the plan. Work 20+ hours a week in job two and pay off the big creditors I owe in two years. It will suck in every kind of way but after two years...the sky will open the angels will sing, unicorns and rainbows will own the sky and the clouds will be made of cotton candy.
But I will be able to move out of the white trashville. I will miss the drug bust, the random drive byes, the swat teams stationed outside the house and my new favorite friend (the bipolar schizophrenic neighbor across the street who likes to send random threatening text messages at night.) But I think they will carry on without me.
Bring on the rain. Everything looks better after a good storm.
at 12:00 AM
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Some parts of my life I am uber focused on achieving certain goals. To the point of having sever depression if I don't reach them. Then there are other parts of my life that I wish there was someone was there to take care of me. I know totally grown up response. I love writing, teaching and cooking. I like making money but awful at budgeting, saving, vacuuming, and dusting.
Today I made a good step forward. I faced my fear and called people I have been avoiding. I was shocked how nice they were. I was also surprised at how much it made my stomach hurt. I have made a plan and in ten short years everything will be fantastic. So now I can't wait to turn 46 and a half. Now I have to find a maid that works for practically nothing and if she was good at editing that would be even better.
What fear have you faced recently?
at 4:14 PM
Sunday, July 24, 2011
I found the shade today.
The sun fought to roast me.
Thin spindled limbs weaved together overhead.
Below the path cleaved through the knots.
Dirt and rock it led me.
Down a dark hill, the woven knit retreated.
The wind didn't bother to come.
She was angry.
Jealous of the naked limbs.
A giant oak blocked
my way out.
Perched in the mass of knots I saw myself.
Or was it me on the path.
The look was the same.
My feet hurt
and my back drenched with chilled sweat.
Looking down the knobby lot I got the sign.
at 8:37 PM
I was reading the most amazing blog site yesterday, The Other Side of the Story, and I figured out what the problem was with my book. It is a premise story not a plot novel. It can be fixed. It will be fixed. But it is okay if I step away...for a little bit. It was after all my happy day. So I started brainstorming, plotting and planning the next book. Worked on it for 3 hours. Not a ton of time. I read yesterday that J.K. Rowlings planned for 5 years before she started any of the Harry Potter books. That is a freakishly long time. Or is it? It did work. She said when she started to write it was a matter of putting all of the notes and bits together. Would love for my first draft to be that simple.
Time to jump back in.
at 3:56 PM
Saturday, July 23, 2011
My sweet, adorable disposition is under attack. I can't count the number of times I have said, "I don't care. Whatever." And truly meant it this week. I can feel myself slipping into a depression. I am perched on the tight rope's edge the abyss beneath me has it's own gravitational pull. Only three more weeks of this to go.
at 1:57 PM
Thursday, July 21, 2011
A dear friend and fantastic editor finished reading "The book." Good news and bad news.
Well let me back up...
Every night before I go to bed I read. I have been doing this since I was in middle school. It is a way to let my mind wonder and my muscles relax. My favorite books are historical suspense. I recently finished a book. It had a great plot line. The history was fascinating. The cover was beautiful. The writer is a New York Times bestseller. But...there were a million characters. I am not sure who the protagonist was suppose to be. The characters were so flat I didn't care what situation the writer but them in. I was only interested in the history behind the story.
This week I picked up a different book. The writer took ten years to write it. The first chapter made me fall in love with the character and was so powerful it took my breath away. Each chapter I become more and more terrified for his safety. There is not an extraneous person or scene. It is tightly written and beautiful in every way.
Well...back to my best friend's review.....
- There are way too many characters. (I have cut 20 from the original. Guess I need to keep going.)
- The main character is too wishy washy. Take it I need to work on his likability. (At least she knows who the main character is.)
- She hated the ending.
- There were timeline issues.
at 12:49 PM
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
TEAM Duncan has declared that if you go to their site and make a comment. Just one...don't go all crazy. Then they will send a cup of coffee to the troops. For your single comment a soldier gets a shot of caffeine and a message of thanks. So please head on over and friend these good people and make a comment. Tell them I sent you...it will make you look cool. Or maybe not...but will make me smile.
If you would like to start your own drive or feel like sending coffee to an entire platoon then check out Green Bean Coffee. $2.00 will make them all happy.
at 10:47 PM
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
"It rained today, ladies."
Not just outside, but I feel it in.
Bones grind together.
Dust, becomes living mud.
It washes down my calf onto the parking lot.
Desperate I try to gather it in a clinched fist.
I let it go.
A little bit of me, in a raging sea.
Watch out for high tide.
There are sharks out there.
I hear they bite.
I know they got me.
I found the most amazing blog today. A dear friend, Aunt J-Me says so showed it to me. Ink Paper Pen, has an interesting day...Write on Wednesday. Her hope is to encourage people to see writing prompts around them.
Today's prompt...status updates. Join the fun.
My facebook friend posted "It rained today" and the rest came from my 5 minute free write.
at 11:40 PM
Sunday, July 17, 2011
I spend a ton of time in the car. And this little ditty has been haunting me.
This was released in April in the United Kingdom but it has only just recently been getting regular play time here in the states. It is the story of the singer, Adele, and her true love. For whatever reason their relationship didn't work out at that time. She never forgot him. During the time she wrote this she found out he was getting married. The song was written in a time of great depression for her.
I think most of us have felt something like this. The song strikes a cord. One that resonates deeply. Tell those around you how you feel about them. You don't know...if they will be there later the next day or if they will pass on by.
at 11:28 PM
Loved this photo from Tumblr. It is a part of the greater collage of them I am collecting on my picture blog. All my fellow bloggers should have something like this. There are many times that we want to show our own photography but if you are like me that isn't always possible. Having Tumblr there as a back up collection of images to pull from is essential. Plus there are so many really cool things to see there. Some nasty...but most are of the art and illustrations are amazing.
I have been on that great website stumbleupon.com. It randomly selects website pages that have been submitted and fit your taste. You register then select the topics that interest you. When ready start stumbling. It is fun to spend a little time on there and see what inspiration you can gather. I have found a ton of educational resources, writing stuff and found more beautiful pictures to submit to Tumblr.
In a random fit of "stumbling" I found to post I wanted to share.
- The Other Side of the Story has a great post on creating plot line for novels. It walks you through using 9 steps. I used it and have drafted out an exciting starting foundation for my third novel and next exciting series.
- Publetariat is an interesting website that has some really great resources on writing, publishing and selling your next great novel.
What is something that you have found on the interwebs that you really want to share with someone?
at 12:10 PM
Thursday, July 14, 2011
I got the rough copy of it in my email.and had the most unusual of reactions: teared up, then felt sick. I know not what one would expect. I am so close to finishing a goal I have set for myself since childhood. It was a huge and scary goal, but writing my first novel has been an experience like no other. Even if the only people that buy my book are family it was worth it. Even if they never read it, it will still be worth it because I finished.
Letting go is not easy. This book is a combination of everything I have encountered and lived. Everyone that knows me, really knows me, will see every bit of my life in this book. It's characters are combinations of friends, enemies, and strangers. It is scary to let it go into the world.
I saw this in my Tumblr yesterday and it fit.
Even I know the statistics. Of the millions of ebooks uploaded to amazon each day 90% are never purchased. Of the those that are 9% of those don't sell more then 100 copies in the life of the book much less a month. It all sounds pretty dire. My great hope is that mine will be the 1%. I am not asking for a lot...100 books sold a week would be enough to stop my risky career as a driver's education teacher. Sounds like I am asking to win the lottery.
But think of it this way of the books uploaded to Amazon most are not edited, not rewritten over 100 times, don't have professional covers, don't have any type of marketing (with blogs and social networks) and those writers don't go the extra step to researching the market. That is what I have been told. I hope doing all of these give me the edge. I need an edge.
What goal have you been working towards?
What was the best part about the last book you read?
at 12:51 PM
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
She is imprisoned in thoughts.
The rain washes her rough bones.
Making secrets tougher to hide.
The future she sold herself into was for a poor price.
Mother didn't teach her to negotiate dreams for leftovers.
Second hand paradise is all she will betroth.
Disappointment will forever be color of her eyes.
at 2:18 AM
Monday, July 11, 2011
Sitting on the floor, my legs are tied in a knot.
Energy surges in a circular motion.
Core connected to arms.
Arms touching legs.
Legs bring it back to core.
My mind counts.
One to ten.
Ten to one.
One to Ten.
The minutes are indifferent.
Opening your leaden eye lids feels forbidden.
*I have joined a poetry blogfest. The rules are pretty simple and there is still time to jump and and join.
1. Follow this blog
2. Sign up by filling out the Linky below
3. Write a Poem
(ANY kind of poem or you could even blog about 'why I hate poetry.' I'm cool with that.)
4. Post your poem the week of July 11th-14th (midnight PST)
You did it!
You can stop there if you want.
There is more for those that want greater involvement and reward. Check it out it is a great way to meet people and sharpen up those writing skills.
at 12:05 AM
Sunday, July 10, 2011
What are your favorite reading memories?
at 12:18 PM
Saturday, July 9, 2011
I am wrapping up the Dog the Bounty Hunter series. 168 done. That is a ton of time...but I couldn't stop. When I wasn't watching I was totally googling. I know creeper move. They have interesting lives and I had to know more. I so want a house in Colorado now or Hawaii. Pretty sure Colorado would be better. It was 105 yesterday. I think the roof might melt, or was that the cars.
After this last show...going to get started on my meditation. I need good energy. I was weak last night...made a cake and it didn't have any leafy greens. Think I will have a giant bowl of spinach...then a piece of cake.
at 2:23 PM
I know you guys saw him. This little guy is freaking adorable. Famous photographer, David Slater, the photographer had the fortune of sitting with a family of these guys. This little girl grabbed the camera and did what all young girls like to do..the self portrait. She is pretty good.
Finally heard back from the doctor. Big sigh.
Even though she had me reading the Cancer pamphlets in the office, made me give a detailed family history with Cancer and running around with a crazy amount of test...all the results came back good. The main problem I went for can be fixed with hormone treatments which I have already started. The side effect is a little crankiness. Maybe if I smile like this guy I can get away with it.
The test did find that I had elevated liver enzymes. She asked if I was a drinker...uh no. She said we will check it again in 6 weeks. If the test come back the same next time that I will need to see a specialist...because it could be "Fatty Liver." Yewww. Is that not the most disgusting thing you have ever heard? I don't eat liver because it grosses me out. The idea of mine being "fatty" gross. Good news is that it is a pretty easy thing to fix. Weight loss, 30 minutes of working out, a better way to deal with stress and eat more leafy greens. No problem right.
Since then I have been good. Well, mostly. I have exercised, and been on top of the leafy greens. I made mustard greens the first day. It was tough. That is a taste that you either like or well...you don't. I took it like medicine. So now I am on the hunt for some delish dark leafy green recipes.
What is your favorite recipe for dark leafy greens?
Where do you find your favorite recipes for veggies?
at 2:36 AM
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
The fourth of July use to mean picnics, fireworks and wearing my brand new patriotic shirt. I know I'm a dork. But I am a huge fan of the colors navy blue and red. I remember that feeling that I would get seeing the giant explosions shooting through the sky in tune to he patriotic songs. I am such a sap. I always cry.
Yesterday it was over a hundred degrees. There was no picnic, we ate at home. The only fireworks were the ones at home on the television. Not the same. I ended up going back to my Dog the Bounty hunter marathon. I did get through number 87-94 in the series. I did cry still...I am pretty sure I blame the hormone treatment I am on for that.
The holiday weekend is done. Time to get back to business.
Today is suppose to be the end of my wait. In reality I am waiting all day for a phone call. I was told not to expect it till late in the day. Not sure when that is. Could be 5pm or what 8pm. I don't know. I think I will get back to writing my work in progress. That will calm me.
at 9:54 AM
Monday, July 4, 2011
If you are a fan of funny cat photos, super heros, wonderful stories of the cephalopods conspiracy you have to become a follower. My dear friend Kal, (at Cal's Canadian Cave of Cool) had recently reached 400 followers then discovered that one had left. Can you imagine the heartache? For all that is good someone please go read his amazing post and discover the man behind the fun pictures.
at 1:48 AM
Sunday, July 3, 2011
The only music in my head this weekend sounds like a metronome.
Constant. Ticking off the seconds.
One at a time.
Not sure if the storm will descend
move on by.
My lungs ache from holding my breath.
I am waiting to sigh, in relief either way.
Knowing is better.
at 3:50 PM
Saturday, July 2, 2011
I shouldn't complain. At least the electricity works, and the air conditioner is still limping along. Rumor has it that the electric company will cut your air if you don't pay it. Even if it is 98 outside, they don't care it will still be off. "They" say that it is not an extreme temperature unless it gets to be officially three digits. Have you ever been in Texas in July when it is 98? It is extreme. This is all rumor of course. Okay, maybe not. You know I am very busy. I have had some stressful stuff going on this week. Well apparently, paying the bill might have slipped my mind. It happens. The family was not thrilled with my slacker ways. They didn't yell...you can tell they are worried about me. The electric was turned back on....it always is. There were a few hours where I had the opportunity to pretend I lived in a sauna. Jealous?
at 1:32 PM
Friday, July 1, 2011
at 12:59 PM